Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
