North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
