my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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