Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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