I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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