I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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