Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
