fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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