she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
