then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
