Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
