Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
