State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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