I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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