I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
this hospital has no fireball
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
