I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
ugly people sure do ruin things
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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