it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
