I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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