I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize