Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
