DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
