Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
