Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
