There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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