that's an acceptable place to lick
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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