i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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