Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
