Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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