her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
