I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
