All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
