I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
