its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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