drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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