high people should be assigned attendants
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize