If i come over, it means nothing
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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