Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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