They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
