So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
