I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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