It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
