DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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