Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
pray to the hookup gods
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
