i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
