so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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