she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
