STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Dear god my vagina.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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