Define "chronic" masturbator.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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