By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize