Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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