i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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