Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
