apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
