he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
