i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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