I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
