just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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