make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
