i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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